I've been feeling so tired this week and I don't even know why...I'm just fed up and want a vacation for real.  I can't bring myself to focus on work at all, so I've been wasting most of my time going online, watching some stand-up comedy, and basically spacing out.  This always happens every year around this time when it's close to the holidays and the end of the semester.  Hopefully I'll manage to pull myself together enough to do a decent job on my next paper about mental illness that's due next week. -_-;

By the way, something disconcerting I've become more aware of recently is how many people find tattoos objectionable.  Of course most people from older generations who aren't used to it aren't too enthusiastic about them, but increasingly I've come across a lot of people from younger generations, even some my own age, that find them totally unappealing.  I get that not everyone finds them attractive, and that's perfectly understandable, but to go as far as saying they're disgusting or grotesque is very extreme and I found the fact that some people say such things pretty disturbing and shocking.  I suppose it's because within the social circles and scenes I'm part of tattoos are pretty common and considered a beautiful way of expressing oneself and embellishing one's body.  I mean, most of my friends and I find them very attractive when done in a nice way.  I think really cliche tattoos just picked out of a book without thinking much about it can be ugly and stupid, but if you get a tattoo that means something special to you done by a skilled artist, then it's a very beautiful thing.  I don't know, that sort of negative sentiment about them really threw me off because I usually think of tattoos as enhancing a person, not negating their other positive physical features and general attractiveness.  The same can be said of piercings, though I'm personally more picky about them.

Then again, I don't consider my values or preferences on most things anywhere near mainstream sensibilities, so I guess it's to be expected that I can't relate much.  But that does make it harder to carry on those sorts of conversations with the average person, especially in this country, because we generally have very little in common.

Haah, the last few weeks have been pretty crazy...I've been in the process of preparing applications, making sure recommendations are done on time, and writing a ton of papers.  So many deadlines to deal with...it's rather stressful. >_<  But now I'm almost entirely ready to hand in my application, which hopefully if I get in will mean I'll be heading back to Japan for another year, perhaps longer.  I'm really keepin' my fingers crossed on that, cause I know for sure that Japan is the place for me, at least at this point in my life, so I'm determined to find some kind of work there.  If all else fails, the only other place I'd want to be is NYC, or maybe the UK.  It's a tough world out there right now though, so naturally I'm a bit nervous about the prospects.

On another note, we watched the very interesting documentary 'Paris is Burning' in my gender class last week.  It's about drag, ball culture, and the gay community of 1980's New York.  It obviously deals with issues of gender and sexuality, but also poverty, racial discrimination, and inequality.  It's a really touching look at how these people dealt with the prejudice and hardship they faced in their lives by creating the balls and "voguing" as a way to express themselves and be who they wanted to be, imagine they could achieve all that they wanted, even if only for a little while.  I think the idea that fame lives within, that despite the limitations of the real world you can feel just as fabulous as any celebrity without the money or having people know who you are is something that can resonate with a lot of people.  It's also extremely interesting to see how certain aspects of gay subculture worked their way into the mainstream (e.g. Madonna's 'Vogue') and now influence the fashion industry that the voguers at the balls admired and emulated.

I know it's been said before, but I really do believe that the LGBT movement and women's rights are among the most vital issues of our time.  Fighting to improve women's rights would also do so much to help alleviate poverty all over the world, and finally surpassing the hurdle of equality for all genders and sexualities would help push many other equality movements as well.  It's so sad and hard to understand how people can be so close-minded, intolerant, and downright despicable to other human beings sometimes, especially when it's a dispute over something like who we love.

Moving to the music front, I can't stop listening to 'LORELEI' by DELUHI!  I love how they mix in that arabseque acoustic solo and the Middle Eastern influenced sounds...it's really beautiful and goes surprisingly well with their metal style.  Although incorporating that kind of aesthetic has been done to an extent by various groups before, I think DELUHI is the only one so far to continue drawing the theme through their music more consistently, rather than it being just a phase.

In other news, the Lady Gaga's video for 'Bad Romance' is out and causing quite a stir.  It certainly has some impressive visuals and outrageous fashion...it could take a while to deconstruct all of what's going on here.  I like how she injects intelligence, serious creative direction, attention to visual elements, and avant-garde style into the cesspool of mainstream pop.  She also has good sensibilities, is level-headed, and represents values and a female presence I find far more relatable and real than the sugary, vapid plasticness of most other normative women in pop.  Although she works in pop, she does have a sort of rockstar-ish, dirty and tough atmosphere that's very appealing.  People always give dance, electronic, and pop music a bad rap, but I don't think that comes from a problem with the medium itself, but rather is the result of misinterpretation, lack of knowledge, and the uninspired way it's used by some artists.

Across the pond, Patrick Wolf has put out a video for 'Damaris' off his album "The Bachelor" that was released just this summer.  It's quite surprising, although the concept and presentation is fairly simple, because most of his music videos thus far have been either solitary or with groups of dancers/characters, but never featured such an intimate two person relationship.  The parallel between Patrick alone at the grave and the scene with the two of them lying together in white was particularly beautiful and well done.  It's at once sweet but heartbreaking, and we get to see yet another vulnerable side of Patrick that's very different from the other two videos from this album.  In 'Vulture' there was vulnerability in a physical sense, while 'Hard Times' focused more on strength and overcoming difficulties.  Though his work has always been eclectic, I was quite happy to see him bring a bit of the traditional English aesthetic back into his videos visually, because I will always be enamored of his 'Wind in the Wires' period with all that great imagery from Cornwell.  The video for 'Damaris' also has a definite mythical quality to it that goes perfectly with lyrics.  I can't say it's my favourite video by him, but it's certainly another wonderful addition to his body of work.

I just have to say I'm really excited about カラス, the new self-proclaimed neo-visual kei super unit made up of Tatsurou from MUCC, Hiroto from Alice Nine, Mizuki from Sadie, dunch from jealkb, and Kenzo from Ayabie.  They first got together at this year's JACK IN THE BOX event, but now they're going to record a studio version of an original song they made together!  I wonder if the unit will stick around and put out a few significant releases or just fade away like S.K.I.N. did, but for the time being I'm eagerly awaiting the release of the song, which is called 'LASTICA'.  It sounds very interesting from the preview clip on their myspace (the last few seconds sorta remind me of the British band Muse's work in a way...a little futuristic but more industrial).  I think the whole group and the sound is refreshing in the midst of the current v-kei scene...I always love it when artists collaborate and mix things up because it's just a great opportunity for new creativity.  I also find it very interesting that they're actively using the term "neo-visual kei"...perhaps this represents a move among artists to really take hold of that term and clearly define it for themselves, since it's been more of a word used by the media and attached to bands thus far, so the meaning of it has been relatively vague.

Also, shifting over to fashion again...though there's no way in hell I could ever afford these (or rather, permit myself to spend so much on one pair of shoes), I can't help ogling and admiring this absolutely amazing-looking pair of Fifre 120 Christian Louboutin ankle boots. *_* They're so pretty....but so, so outrageously expensive. T_T  Just looking at the price makes me want to curl up in a ball (let's just say I could feed myself for half a semester with the money it would take to buy these).  But they are lovely to look at...Louboutin always makes such gorgeous, classic designs. <3

Ugh, I have yet another paper to write this weekend, and I have no idea how to approach it because the topic is so vague...what a bummer. -_-;  I'm also hoping to translate DELUHI's new mini-album 'Yggdalive' in the near future...I don't have time to do a full post and rant on in detail about it, but it's pretty awesome so anyone who hasn't heard it yet should go give it a listen!  Leda's guitar work is love as always. <3  There are deliciously heavy metal-inspired riffs, some seriously high powered drumming, uplifting choruses, a sweet bass solo, a few funky/popish moments, and the shockingly soft and smooth "Hoshi no nai Yoru ni".  DELUHI has really expanded their horizons beyond my expectations with this release, proving they can rock a number of different styles skillfully and naturally.  For a first effort I was surprised how well they pulled off a lot of the new influences and styles.  Plus the sound quality of their work has taken a significant step up from previous releases as well, which is great.  I also can't wait till the full version of the "REVOLVER BLAST" PV comes out.  At first I wasn't too keen on it, and it's still not my favourite track, but the full song turned out to be a lot heavier than the chorus let on.  Here's some more samples:  "Wake Up!"    "Follow the Future"    "Flow Snow"

I'm pretty excited for next week because the new coat I ordered should be arriving.  It's a really cute black and white pleated Victoria houndstooth coat by BB Dakota.  It was so much cheaper than I expected (even less than the average for a similar coat at many other, more popular brand stores...but I think they tend to hike the price) and definitely miles away from the $3,650 or so price tag on the Alexander McQueen designs it takes inspiration from. >_<  I'd actually been endlessly debating over whether to go for a black or a white coat but this one totally solves that problem.  I can't wait to wear it with my tall, black suede high-heeled boots. :D  I've been refreshing my wardrobe lately not only for the fall/winter season, but looking for more sophisticated, classic pieces, because I've realized I need to expand beyond my existing functional/casual and not-so-work-appropriate rock-inspired looks.  I need more mature, career oriented items too but it's always so hard to find my size in those areas.

In other news, the GazettE's manager posted some more interesting anecdotes today.  Apparently the band hasn't been meeting up a lot lately since they're making songs and on break, but they had a photoshoot and such recently and when he and Kai were talking about posting photos on their blogs Kai showed the manager a certain photo on his phone and Sakai asked "Is this a pro wrestler?" to which Kai said "No, it's me!" and was like "See, look!" and proceeded to flash his newly buffed-up arms!  Then the manager was all like, "Wow, they've gotten really big!" 0_0.  I knew Kai had started working out to increase his muscles (he even got a personal trainer, I heard) but now I'm really curious to see how much of a difference there is!  Is it that drastic?! o_0  Also, apparently Aoi decided to invite everyone at PSC to dinner (they made a reservation for close to 20 people, he said) and Aoi paid for them all!  Sakai was super happy and said, "What a manly thing to do!  You're the best!  Thanks!" lol ^^;

I can't believe I managed to write two 6-8 page papers in three days...and I'm quite happy with the results, though I don't know how they'll do under my professors' scrutiny. @_@  One was for art history on the presence of the idol in Andy Warhol and Willem de Kooning's paintings (which I actually enjoyed writing), the other was a more grueling analysis of the application of psychoanalysis and Foucault to the anthropology of gender...that one was pretty complex, so I'm not as confident about it.  I always find it easier and feel better when writing about the arts because they're something I believe in, whereas I tend to be very suspicious of theory.  Anyway, now I'm totally burnt out, but I still have a mountain of other work to catch up on. =_=;;

Speaking of being burnt out, I read the GazettE's manager's mobile post today where he revealed that Aoi forgot what date it was and was the only member not to send Kai a happy birthday text.  Supposedly it went like this:
あっ今日もう30日だったっけ？？まだ26日だと思ってた(笑)
Ah, today's already the 30th??  I thought it was still the 26th(lol)
あっ！！忘れてた｡まじごめん！！日にちの感覚がなかった｡
Ah!! I forgot. I'm so sorry!! I lost track of the date.

-_-;....
Aoi you mean, terrible person...apparently Kai was pretty down because he didn't get a text from him. ^^lll  Of all the members Aoi seems to have been taking their vacation to the extreme from what he said in the latest magazine interviews.  Apparently he's been spending his time doing nothing but playing video games and chatting anonymously with people on the network (in some cases finding out that they like the GazettE) and practicing guitar while waiting for his game to load.  -_-lll  No wonder he's lost his sense of time.  I do feel bad for him though, because the reason why he's been practicing guitar at home (which he said he hasn't really done before, only playing while working on composing, recording, and pre-pro) is because at Saitama Super Arena he got nervous and there was a point where he messed up and his fingers just wouldn't move.  It seems Reita covered it up for him, but he said he felt like he wanted to die in that moment (it's in Shoxx, if I remember correctly). T_T  Poor guy.  So now he's working on leveling up his guitar play and getting more serious about why certain phrases just don't come out when he's composing, which is admirable and very responsible of him, I think.

Also, totally random, but I'm going insane cause I can't get this song out of my head: Bad Romance

I'm in the middle of my busiest weekend of the entire semester right now (two papers and a proposal due on Monday! >_< ugh) so I'm not going to be around for a while, but I just couldn't resist sharing this image!  Man, I love Yoshiki...he's such an adorably dorky and funny person.

Also, the pv preview for DELUHI'S 'REVOLVER BLAST' off their upcoming mini-album is out!  It's hard to comment on the song from such a short clip, but the members have interesting new looks...Juri and Aggy look very different with the change in hairstyle, but overall they seem to have gone a little simpler and less elaborate with mostly monochrome outfits this time around.  I look forward to hearing what styles they've put into the mini-album as well as if they'll stick with this toned down appearance or move back to their previous, more flamboyant fashion at some point. 

So I've been watching the V-Rock Festival footage and happened to see ViViD's set and interview.  I haven't really been keeping up with them since I'm not a huge fan of any of the indie PSC bands and they didn't spark my interest from the early material I saw and listened to.  I think it's a bit strange and like a reversal of the normal order of how things go that because these bands are on the label they're able to play Budoukan and Makuhari Messe just half a year after they formed in ViViD's case, and although I'm sure it's super exciting for the band members, it sort of undermines the classic dream of working hard to get to Budoukan and all that...hell, at the PSC anniversary live they even had the indie bands perform to playback, which is not what I'd consider really playing at the venue.  If it were me I'd find that somehow disappointing...it's like you didn't make it there by your own effort and merit, you know?  Which I suppose is true and I think the bands realize that...for example ViViD said how it was amazing that they had the opportunity to play at the festival so soon after formation and how grateful they were to their senpai and fans.  It's certainly good for the band, but in terms of how PSC runs it's indie division and how these young bands are getting discovered, put out there, and maturing is interesting to watch.

But anyway, aside from that issue, I got to learn a bit more about ViViD from their interview and found it amusing that Shin the vocalist started a visual kei band because of the GazettE....he's apparently a big fan (and it totally shows...even on his online profile XD).  It's cute really and yet so weird because there's this whole generation of very young bands appearing now that got into music because of bands from the GazettE's generation.  For someone like me who grew up with bands like Dir en grey, Kagrra,, Pierrot, and Plastic Tree, then watched as bands like Alice Nine, the GazettE, and girugamesh grew and became major players in the scene right now it's strange to realize that a whole new generation is forming already.  It's also personally a bit disturbing cause these guys are like, the same age or younger than I am!  It makes me feel so OLD! ^_^;;

Getting back to the point, since they've now popped back up on my radar I checked out ViViD's latest single, '69-II'.  It's kind of generic and I can't help but feel that everything about their look is somehow recycled material from other PSC bands.  The song itself is fairly good but lacks a unique spark, I think.  You can definitely hear that most of the members are fans of abingdon boys school, it has a similar "rock with popular appeal" sound going on and Shin's singing has a strong, smooth quality that's reminiscent of Nishikawa's.  I'd say it's all in all a good effort.  They're still just starting out so once they find themselves and their own creative niche I think they could make some cool material.

Heheh, oh girugamesh...they're such complete dorks.  Also, it's a bit disturbing when they try to act all kawaii in the beginning of the comment. ^^;  I love Satoshi's story about how in the relay race in the third year of middle school he fell and took down like three other people with him, totally ruining the event...lol.  Then he gets punched by Nii for saying that even his face is bad at sports. XD  Oh, and their stupid, random "YEEEEAAAH!" \m/ gestures all the time.  Aah, but I am looking forward to their new album this November, which they talk about here but still haven't given a title for.  And I have to say, I would be in full support of a "visual kei sports day" like they mention here...someone should totally arrange that, it'd be hilarious!

I also found it amusing that in the latest Neo Genesis interview with the GazettE, Aoi kind of indirectly complained that he doesn't really do much in the new song "Before I Decay", since it's mostly Uruha playing the melodious parts and by the nature of the song's composition he just happened to end up doing rather basic stuff. ^^;  Man, it's always funny and sorta cute to see how he's constantly comparing himself and Uruha...it's like he's doesn't even realize he's doing it sometimes, and he manages to bring him up in like every other interview, even the personal ones!  (It's probably partly because he's a workaholic and almost never stops thinking about making music.)  But as their musical style has changed and become more technical the dynamics between them as guitarists seems to have changed as well and it's pretty interesting to see what they think about it.

girugämesh show a striking, different side of themselves with their new single 'crying rain' that was released October 7th.  You can feel it and see it clearly in the PV as well.  Their music has so far been dominated by aggressive, hard songs that usually have quite intense anger or bitterness behind them, though they also have a small collection of slower, more sentimental works such as "Kowarete iku Sekai" and "Ishutaru".  The emotional distinction between them and "crying rain" is a sense of real weakness and vulnerability, a sensitivity and personal sadness that hasn't really been expressed by girugämesh in this way before.  They've always been more about having a rocking good time or releasing more violent emotions, so it's nice to see them branching out and trying new things. 

Musically "crying rain" continues to expand on their recent composing style but at a slower pace, with some turntable scratching thrown in there and a substantial solo from Nii.  It also has female backing vocals but they're done in a fairly unobtrusive, tasteful way that supports Satoshi without being distracting.  I was immediately drawn in by the chorus...I think it's got great rhythm to it and the lyrics are catchy as well.  Maybe I'm just a sucker for Satoshi singing slower songs, because all their previous ones are among my favourites.  I think Satoshi has excellent range in that way...his voice is emotionally powerful but expressive in many ways, not just through growling and shouting, and he can handle softer feelings with equal ease.

The interestingly titled coupling track "S.T.F.U" is more standard girugämesh fare, and nothing too exciting in my opinion, but a fun listen nevertheless.  Its upbeat quality follows the mellow, sad title track nicely to end the single on a more positive, high-energy note.  Overall the sound of the single isn't revolutionary, but "crying rain" is definitely a solid, gripping song that contributes something fresh within girugämesh's discography.  I also liked that in the PV Satoshi shows a new side of himself by singing while soaked by the rain...it's a rather refreshing and endearing image to see him that way instead of energetically jumping around or screaming harshly. ^_^

Well, the day is finally here...the GazettE's new single 'Before I Decay' is out!  It's done quite well on the Oricon charts and is being used as the theme song for the movie Wild Speed MAX (aka. Fast and Furious 4), but there does seem to be some sense of dissatisfaction floating around with regards to this release.  Personally, I don't think it's among the GazettE's best work, and it does leave one with a sense of lack after listening.  I wouldn't immediately interpret a song being used in a movie as having a negative impact on their work since other beautiful songs like "Chizuru" have been used in films, but this time around seems somewhat different in that they definitely stated that they just barely finished production in time for the song to come out on time, the lyrics appear more clearly geared toward the film, as does the composition.  It's hard to know what the timing and relationship between the writing of the song and decision to use it for the film was, but even if the instrumental parts were mostly done previously, the result is that it doesn't quite stand up to the creative standard of their other releases. 

"Before I Decay" sounds a bit rehashed in that the guitar riffs are fairly reminiscent of "LEECH" and "A MOTH UNDER THE SKIN", plus there's a noticeable parallel to "Toguro" just past the 1:54 mark.  It does have its addictive hooks in the powerful intro and outro parts, and they are excellent, as is Uruha's tapping in the second half, but it still gives off a weaker impression than I would have hoped.  Reading how the guys initially described this single, I though it would be far more aggressive and heavy, and although it has screams, punch, and speed, there's none of the mean edge or stinging impact that some of their other songs like "OGRE", "MAGGOTS", or "HYENA" had.  The difference is that "Before" is more polished and not as gritty, which is somewhat due to the style they've been doing recently and what they were aiming for here, but nevertheless despite its aggressiveness, I feel like it doesn't go further in any new direction either way. 

The same goes for "Mayakashi", which vaguely reminds me of various other songs the names of which I can't quite put my finger on at the moment, but again, it's nice but not especially spectacular.  I am curious who the main composer was though, since I'm torn between certain members trying to figure out who it was.  As for the PV for "Before", it's cut in a fast-paced, interesting way and once again it's kinda nice to see the band without any extras.  The members look great as always...very glamorous and sharp, matching the harsh flourescent lights and wet pavement of the set.  I'm also so glad there are no scenes from the movie worked into it, cause I'd really rather not have Vin Diesel popping up every few seconds and ruining the flow. ^^;

All things considered this is a rather harsh critique given that this release is so close after 'DIM' and one can't hope for innovation overnight, so it's not that "Before I Decay" isn't enjoyable or bad per se, it just ends up being "ok" when sized up by the standards the GazettE have set for themselves.  The band did say that they wanted simple speed not deep heaviness like 'DIM' for this song, and it doesn't seem like they're taking it too seriously in the sense of "this is our masterpiece!" so I don't think it's anything to get worked up over or lament as stagnation of their music or the representation of all that is bad about commercial appeal and mainstream intersection. 
Honestly, the fact that it's standard makes the song more accessible so it will attract people, which is exactly what you'd want in this situation where it's being paired with a very mainstream movie, whose viewers probably don't know the band and most likely won't be into really dark, heavy experimental music.  Therefore, for the fans it may not seem all too impressive in the context of their discography, but if it draws even a small amount of people to get interested in the band and check them out, that's a positive thing as well.  It's good to remember that realistically, music doesn't happen in a vacuum...if it's kept for too long in a self-contained bubble it doesn't leave room for growth.  (Like the band have said, they even worried if 'DIM' was too much for people to get into since they sorta went loose there and did whatever they felt like doing on it, so perhaps "Before I Decay" is its antithesis.)  I think they're actually using this opportunity rather well, because although yes, it isn't anything mind-blowing, it does retain the GazettE's style and displays some of their recent, usual composing and playing techniques.

*EDIT*: Looks like I spoke too soon, turns out they made a movie version of the PV too. (Which, btw, makes me wonder what ever happened to "Chizuru"'s regular PV...we're still waiting for them to release it!)  Anyway, the original is so much better...all the cg-filled car crashes and Vin Diesel busting people's windows in totally ruins the flow. >_<